Examples:
- The flooding of the Nile was essential to the development of civilisation in Egypt for three main reasons.
- Due to its inability to properly respond to the root causes of crime, mandatory sentencing is not an effective deterrent and may actually make appropriate sentencing more difficult to achieve.
- The US dishonestly exploited the shooting down of a Korean Airlines Boeing 747 in 1983 for Cold War anti-Soviet propaganda.
- Theravada and Mahayana Buddhists accept that individuals may become enlightened; however, Theravada Buddhists stress only clergy can become enlightened while Mahayana Buddhists stress enlightenment is available to all, both clergy and lay person alike.
In the example below you can see the links to the topic sentence within the paragraph, ending with the concluding sentence:
The flooding of the Nile was essential to the development of
civilisation in Egypt for three main reasons. Firstly, the inundation
of the Nile brought with it the black soil necessary for growing
crops. This provided the natural fertilizer for the soil, allowing
crops to grow in abundance and provide sufficient food for a
large population. Additionally, the inundation served as a form of
calendar that marked the start of the year. The everyday lives of
the Egyptians were based around the seasons. When the Nile
flooded, the Egyptians built the pyramids or took a break from
their usual job. When the water receded, they re-established their
crops. Then, during the periods of very low rainfall, when the Nile
was at its lowest point, the Egyptians harvested and stored their
crops and held festivals. Finally, the Nile provided a system of
transportation for communication. This was important for the
unity of a country that was spread along a narrow strip of land
lining the river. Thus, the Nile River and its annual flood was a key
component necessary for civilisation to develop in Egypt.
See below sample paragraph at B standard after corrections (in red) have been made:
No comments:
Post a Comment